Merry New Year

Christmas was a wonderful day for my family.  The kids got the clothes they needed, and then some.  The toys from my brother and his wife are fabulous!  And the camera?  LOVE it. I did make the hoodie for the husband, which he adores.  It is the first time a jacket has fit him properly.

I also got an update on my friend Jeannie.  She has been discharged from the hospital, so thank you for all your prayers. 

Kiddo gets her stitches out tomorrow, and she seems pretty nervous about it.  Her cast stays on the other foot for another 2-1/2 weeks though.

I'm also planning on getting back on my eating plan starting tomorrow.  I ordered a protein powder that has no artificial sweeteners in it -- had to search for one pretty hard.  Carlos recommended I get some and use it, so I have it.  And now I'll be using it to help in my workouts and hopefully weight loss.  Yay.


We are gearing up for the new year, making goals and resolutions and trying to become better as individuals and as a family.  I personally am trying to get the house in order and keep it that way -- it's gotten away from me in the months of depression. 

This week, my brother, The Army Guy, is coming in town.  Planning on spending time with him and his family and hoping The Rock comes too.  Wish me luck with the eating plan while they are here.  His wife makes yummy food.  haha.

I hope your continued celebrations this week are full of joy and love.

We are so blessed!

It's been a hard year for us, financially speaking.  We have the most wonderful kids and baby Bitty is the sweetest thing!  The Rock told me that she needed to come to our family to mellow him out, and she has. A lot. But I haven't worked since May when things got too difficult in my pregnancy. And The Rock's bipolar disorder has been flared up pretty bad this year so he hasn't worked consistently, too.  As a result, we had to move from our condo to an apartment as the condo is in foreclosure, and we have been taken to court by the HOA and have faced some pretty nasty goings on.

There have been times I've despaired of things ever getting better and have, at times, been fairly suicidal.  I haven't talked much about MY depression, but it is there.  I have good days and bad ones, and I never know what it's going to be when I get up in the morning.  Fortunately, more good days than bad have been happening lately, though the bad ones are still very bad.

We have had to get help from family and our church at times over the past months, and it is hard to swallow your pride and admit you can't do it all. 

A couple of weeks ago, one of the gals in our church called and asked us if we needed anything for Christmas.  She's in a leadership position and I knew she would keep it all confidential, so I said yes and told her a few of the needs for Little Mister and Runner Girl, mostly clothing.  Toys we have.  Entertainment we have.  Clothing, she has, but not much in the way of uniform pants for school.  He doesn't have very much warm clothing, though he does have a nice coat I bought last year that still fits and a great hat a friend made him, and boots that still fit from last year too.  Then she asked if we needed anything for the baby.  And I thought of the boxes and bags of clothing and things we've been given for her -- we have clothing for at least her first two years.  Some of it was new but a lot was gently used, and I've had to purchase very little for her.  She asked about stuff for The Rock and myself, but we are fairly well set, except The Rock needs a new hoodie/jacket. But nothing off the rack fits him so I'm making him one for Christmas (assuming I get over the intimidation factor and start sewing tonight).  So really, we have very few needs, mostly just clothing for my son and some school clothing for my daughter.  She wrote it all down and that was the last I'd heard from her.

My brother, The Architect, and his family had our family for Christmas this year, and they gave us our gifts at the family Christmas party tonight.  Actually, he asked me for my keys and put it all in the car for me.  (They also purchased a camera for us with the understanding we would pay them back, and I did tonight with the Christmas money my mom sent us.)  When we got home, I popped open the trunk and saw 4 big presents and started pulling them out ... and then under that, there was a turkey, some cereal, pasta, and a bunch of other groceries. I couldn't remember when I'd gone to the store and bought a turkey so I stood there staring at it for a few minutes until it hit me that they'd gone above and beyond the normal gift exchange.  We brought it all in and put it away, and I called and left a message thanking them for their generosity.

After I got the littles to bed, Runner Girl said someone had knocked and then called.  I checked my voice mail and it was the gal from church.  She'd left a bag of presents on our patio.  It was 10:30 so I didn't call her back, but I did go get them.  I will call her back tomorrow as she requested in the voice mail.

I have made some gifts for each of the kids and have a few more to finish up in the next few days, and that was really all I had planned on the kids getting for Christmas this year.  The Rock, too.  I have oodles of yarn and fabric and have sewn and crocheted and knitted a bunch the last few weeks getting those things done, and I know those gifts will be appreciated by my kids and husband, and I have found a few dollars here and there this week to send presents to a few friends and my little brother's family as well (we had them for Christmas this year, and all the gifts I've sent were made by  me).  I also know the things that we have been given by others will be very much appreciated by all of us.

The Rock has started stabilizing out and has been working more in the last two weeks.  We are hopeful that that trend will continue, and that we will get back on our feet soon.  But as I sit here, looking around this apartment, which has a full pantry, fridge, and freezer, furniture to sit and sleep on, electronics and many movies for entertainment, laundry piled up so I know we are blessed with clothing and blankets, a lopsided tree with presents finally under it, and my three little ones all asleep in their beds ... I realize we have indeed been abundantly blessed.  

Monday Musings

I know I'm biased, but I have the best kid.  Runner Girl had her foot surgery on Friday on both feet, has a cast on her left foot and bandages on her right, and today?  Has helped watch her hyper brother and she did the dishes.  She's wiped out now and resting on the couch, but she's had a long day, starting with getting woken up by her brother so we could go to the podiatrist for her 3-day postop check.

They took her bandages off her right foot and checked her incision.  She is healing just fine, everything looks great, and Dr. Mark is happy with the arch that is now there.  He re-bandaged her and sent us on our way.  She gets her stitches out next Monday!  Her cast will stay on for 4 weeks total, and then she'll be in bandages for a while after that as well.

We've been fairly swamped since, though DisGrace and her kids have been tremendous helps with Little Mister (a.k.a. Busy).  I need to reclaim my house from disaster zones though ... but I'm still working on Christmas prezzies, so that's going to have to wait until next week.  Every spare minute is used knitting, crocheting, or sewing something.  Or making cookies (which I did tonight for The Rock's co-workers and boss).

At any rate, Runner Girl should be good to start training in March.  Which means I need to get my own training in gear so I can keep up with her. I can't run being this fat.  I can't do much of anything.  It's not easy making changes, even when they are necessary, and I keep slipping up or running out of time to do my workouts or whatever, because I'm so busy with the kids.  I'm not sure how to rectify it, but I am working on it.

Merry Christmas, dear readers.  I am not sure if I will be back before then.  And if that's not your belief system, have a great week!  ;)

Ugh ugh ugh

I haven't met with Carlos for over a week. He was sick, then I had a migraine, and, well, I hated the workout he had me do last time and I wasn't looking forward to admitting I've been emotionally eating. I feel like crying over how I've sabotaged myself the last week. And I did shed a tear or two at the gym. Ugh.

Using resistance bands last time, he had me do some endurance work. Lots and lots of reps, timed.

Hate. Hate. Hate.

So I told him that tonight and he said, "Good! We're going to do it again!"

See how happy he is that he was going to make me suffer???

So we started.  I almost fell over.  Shape ups are comfy but they are NOT good for doing squats or steps because they knock you off balance.

My arms are noodles.  My legs are Jello.  When I mentioned that to him, he said I was making him hungry.  Good, because he made me feel like I'm going to hurl.  Glad we're both uncomfortable.

After he killed me for 30 minutes, he told me that my endurance for activity is very low (duh) and that I need to do these exercises so I can be more active.  *sigh*  I hope I can actually force myself to do this workout before next time or he's going to make me do it again with him, and he shows no mercy. (That's a lie. He could see I wasn't feeling well and shortened my times by half.)

Starting next time (which is up in the air), we'll be doing hour-long sessions to use up my paid-for sessions before they expire.  It'll be a bit touchy when I can get back because Runner Girl is having her surgery this Friday, but we are going to try next week.

Carlos doesn't know my blog address or why I snapped his picture, but I'm going to put his picture in front of my face while I do the workout so I can pretend he's there telling me to get it done. We'll see if that works for my motivation.

The good news is that feeling this wretched makes me want to eat better again.  If only I hadn't just made a couple pounds of Gramma's caramel/toffee.  I'd better get some more apples to eat it with so I can pretend it's not bad for me.

A Friend is in Need

This is completely off topic, dear readers, but I hope you'll bear with me. My friend Jeanie, a former co-worker, sweetheart, and generally on of the nicest people you'll ever meet, had surgery last week for lung cancer. She was doing well though was in quite a bit of pain, but has had a turn for the worse and is back in the ICU with clots and a tear in her lung.

Jeanie is always so positive and shared with me previously that she believes her circumstances now are in God's hands, whether she makes it through this surgery and recovery or not. I wish I had that much faith. I don't. I'm not perfect. But I do know God loves each of us. Here's an example.

In early November, I had been working on some felted wool slippers for a Christmas swap. They are very warm and soft and cozy, and I love them. The first pair I made felted a size too small for the intended recipient, and I put them to the side, thinking I'd sell them, but before I listed them on etsy, I felt that God had a plan for them. A week or so later, Jeanie told me she had cancer.

A little something came to mind telling me to ask her for her shoe size and address. I wanted her to have something in the hospital to remind her that we love her and just planned to make a pair for her. She seemed confused in her email back as to why I would need her shoe size, but she gave it to me anyway. The already made slippers were her size.

I shipped them off to her and sent her another email saying she should get something soon. She was so excited! She emailed me as soon as she got them the day after Thanksgiving, saying they were lovely and a perfect fit.

I'm asking you, whatever your belief system, to say a prayer or send a positive thought her way. Whatever God's plan is, that they'll be able to manage her pain until she returns home to God, or that the doctors will be able to clear her clots and other issues so she can return to her earthly home and normal life.

Love you Jeanie.

Since last Thursday, I haven't actually made it back to the gym. SO frustrating. BUT I have been more careful about my calories and haven't gone over once since then. I am noticing that I usually have more energy and am not stuffed too full to move (unlike last week when I made the mac and cheese ...).

I actually felt like my calorie allowance was too high because I wasn't getting hungry at all between my meals and snack and still felt satisfied, so I lowered it a bit. I am getting better at portion control as well, and while I don't let myself get to the "famished" point, I am feeling a bit hungry before it's time to eat again ... which I'm embarrassed to admit I wasn't feeling before at ALL. I know, right? I was just eating all the dang time. No wonder I got so fat!

The Rock and I have talked about all of this lately. I weigh 40 pounds more than I did the day we met and the day we got married, and it's just not OK to stay that way. He wasn't raised eating healthy and gets cranky if I cook healthy too much. BUT he finally said, "Do what you need to do to get healthier. If I get desperate, I will go eat at my folks' house." Score! I'm taking him at his word and cooking leaner and healthier. We don't even have any red meat in the house right now! bwahahahaha I should add he weighs about 60-70 pounds more than he did when we got married. He is working out now and trying to get some of it off, but it's (unfairly) much easier for him to drop weight even if he's eating junk than it is for me.

I've also been able to get my picky toddler to eat real food several times in the last week (instead of his usual diet of crackers, cereal, and chicken nuggets). Bonus! And the baby is wanting food too, so since I'm eating healthier, I'm just sharing with her and she likes it! She detests baby food, which is fine by me.

I'm going to finish sewing a project tonight, cut out some fabric, and go to bed. Tomorrow, I meet up with Carlos again and am going to kill it at the gym. Bam!

Good night dear readers!

Oh the GUILT!!

Yesterday, I was doing pretty well and was on track with my eating plan, until Kiddo asked for mac and cheese last night for dinner. Not the box stuff. The homemade stuff. With the rich, ooey, gooey, 3-cheese sauce ... oh bad bad bad.

I ate way, way, way too much of that and was too full to work out after.

I decided to go to the gym anyway but just to walk on the treadmill because something is better than nothing, right? Well. Carlos didn't agree. He stopped me on my way out to make an appointment or two for next week, and told me, "When you come do your cardio, no more of this walking crap!" (I usually use the elliptical and he knows I go faster on that, plus it burns more calories.)

I had to admit to him that I had over eaten at dinner and was having a pain in my side. The look on his face ... Ouch.

I'm betting he kills me next week in our sessions.

I came home and logged my calories on livestrong.com and about hurled. Yeah. It was bad.

As of today, I am recommitting to myself to eat well. Eating clean doesn't have to be a burden, but it does have to happen. I also do have to get to the gym every day, and that's a commitment I'm making to myself as well. It doesn't mean diddly squat if I'm doing it for my husband or kids (or even Carlos), if I'm not really committed to making my own life better for ME.

Good bye mac and cheese. I can't make you again anytime soon. Maybe in another decade.

Different Perspective

So I get to the gym tonight and Carlos, my cute trainer, is there in short shorts. Not like 1980s basketball shorts. But mid thigh.

It's 27 degrees outside and the back door of the gym is open.

Carlos is not a big guy, but he is toned and buff. He's probably 5 feet 4 inches and has a very low percentage of body fat, so he doesn't have padding to keep him warm (unlike me, haha). He also has spiky hair and earrings. (Blast. I just remembered I forgot to sneak a picture of him! LOL.)

About 15 minutes into my workout, he went and got a jacket on because he was cold. A few minutes later, he had to go in front of that open back door, looking for a mat for me. He came back out of the dark recesses of the breezeway shivering harder and said, "Man, everyone is looking at me because I'm wearing these shorts!"

I said something about with those short shorts in this weather, he would have to be cold. He said, "Well, I have to show off my legs!" Which made me laugh and I said, "True, when you have nice legs, you show them off." "Especially when you have quads like mine!" hahaha. He made me laugh.

But before we got into the discussion about legs, I said something else that I decided I should share here. I said to Carlos, "I figured they were all staring at me because I'm so fat." He seemed surprised that I would think that everyone was watching me for that reason, and I was surprised there was a different reason anyone would be watching me work out.

Here's the thing. When I first started going to the gym last fall/winter, I was extremely self conscious about it and hesitated to go. It was very difficult to push myself out of that comfort zone and I had anxiety over it. I also had a deserve issue of whether I "deserved" to be at the gym or not because of my size. And I worried about what everyone else thought of me when I was there, or that the pretty people would think I didn't deserve to be there.

Since the second night back at the gym after the move, I haven't worried so much about what everyone else thinks of me. Or at least I thought I didn't. Until Carlos mentioned everyone staring at HIM.

It bothers me that I would care what any of them think -- I don't know any of them. Plus it's not THEIR health or body at risk, so their opinion shouldn't matter a bit. The only thing that matters is MY motivation, MY determination, and MY opinion of myself, and my family's support (because honestly if The Rock and Runner Girl didn't support and help me with the littles while I'm at the gym, I wouldn't be able to get it done).

So, here I am at home with noodles for arms after killing it at the gym. I am going to take a hot shower and cut out fabric for Christmas presents. And I'll eat well tomorrow, then go back to the gym and tear it up on cardio, even if I have to use 3 different machines to get through an hour of it. And the hell with what anyone else might think or strange looks people give me when I go in.

They're probably looking at Carlos anyway.

The "Diet" Thing

I am giving an eating plan a serious go this week. I caught a glimpse of myself in the window of the church today. Not to mention the 3D image of myself on the Kinect. *shudder*

Per the trainer and Livestrong, I need to eat about 2350 calories a day to lose about a pound a week. It breaks down to about 390 per meal (6 per day). That's a lot of calories. Unless you eat donuts and pie. (Adding in exercise will help me shed about another pound a week.)

So, before I go to bed tonight, I'm going to write down a list of things I can eat that we have that are about that many calories, and will be hitting the store for produce in the morning. We need fruit and veggies apparently.

Wednesday workout

I'm home from the gym but am going to do some cardio here pretty soon. Just wanted to make a quick post to say I did work out tonight! Did the workout that Carlos outlined for me, though I will admit to not doing one of the exercises as long as I was able to a couple of nights ago. I may have to up my weights soon because some of them are getting easier. WEIRD. heh.

However, I am still working on trying to correct the diet portion of this equation. I just ... I love junk food. Period. Greasy burgers, fries, ice cream, pizza, sugar in most forms, pepsi, vanilla coke, starches, breads ... It isn't exactly an accident that I weigh as much as a small whale*, you know?

I met with a nutritionist Monday and have asked advice from the trainer. I just ... wow. Nights are so hard. I worked third shift for so many years, my body is just used to not sleeping before 2 a.m. so I stay up late every night. And nighttime? My worst time for cravings and wanting to eat those foods that are supposed to be "occasional" but are "all the time" for me. And you know, when the babies are crying and the preteen is being, well, a preteen, I just don't care! I want the chocolate and grease! And I haven't figured out yet how to overcome any of this.

My goal this week (after Thanksgiving, of course) is to eat clean during the day and evening and nothing after 9 p.m. (except a protein shake before/after the workout), tracking every single thing I put in my mouth and when so I know where I'm losing it and where I'm okay.

*gross exaggeration. really, really gross.

Training!

Did a total body workout with weights last night ... I think I told Carlos at one point that he was mean, but he just smiled his cute smile at me and told me to keep going. lol.

Lunges, squats, chest presses, flyes, shoulder presses, bent over rows, biceps curls, and triceps presses. yeah ... It was a really good workout actually.

There was one funny thing though. He handed me a 15 pound bar. I grabbed it in the middle with both hands in an overhand grip, and he had me raise it up to my chin (so my elbows were making a V). I told him it was too light, he didn't believe me, and I powered through 15 reps without a problem. He said, "hm. Okay. Let's try 24." Those were a tad more challenging. But really, I'm doing the same sort of action all day long with the 16 pound baby and the 30 pound toddler, sometimes at the same time.

Cardio and yoga tonight!

Here's today's tip: Livestrong.com. It's free. Track your calories and your fitness/activity, and see what happens! It even helps you figure out how many calories you should be eating every day to lose X pounds a week. Good stuff.

And don't be jealous that breast feeding burns 500 calories a day. I'm still at my prepregnancy weight, but am hoping to shed 10 to 15 pounds by year's end.

The Surgery

We met with the surgeon today and the surgery has been scheduled for December 17th. We will be starting her Christmas break a week early, though I may see if she has a choir performance and/or class party and take her back for those things.

Anyway, because of her extra foot bones, he can't do everything that needs to be done on both feet at the same time because she wouldn't be mobile for 4 weeks. Her left foot is worse and has the bigger extra bone, so he will be doing the arch implant on that side and removing the bone, then putting it in a cast. He will do the arch implant on the right side as well, and she should be able to walk with a crutch (I think) in a few days. We will play it by ear as far as taking out the other extra bone in the fuutre, but she doesn't have so much pain on that side.

They got it all set up with the hospickle and the insurance, though I will call the insurance to double check in a couple of weeks.

And me? I hurt everywhere today. I didn't think I'd worked out that hard last night, but man, I'm feeling it today! I'm supposed to do cardio and abs tonight, but I may just do a cardio video at home instead of trying to climb on the elliptical. We shall see.

I have a new trainer!

It took some work on my end, calling the gym and calling them a couple more times, but I have a new trainer.

His name is Carlos. He is 21. And VERY cute. I left my phone in the husband's car today, so I didn't take a picture, but stay tuned for Monday. lol

So, I warmed up on the elliptical and he gathered up some equipment, then led me down a hallway, where I stepped on a mat and slipped and smacked my knee on the concrete floor. And did the splits. Awesome.

We worked out anyway. He was so sweet about it, kept asking if I was OK, checking on my knee at random times, lol. Did a total body workout and he gave me my caloric intake guidelines. Then he spanked me soundly and sent me on my way.

Just kidding.

We set up a new appointment for Monday and off I went, immediately taking ibuprofen and icing my knee when I got home. The knee was already stiffening up, so driving the car with the manual transmission wasn't easy. Hoping I'm better tomorrow.

We meet with Runner Girl's surgeon tomorrow and will be scheduling her surgery.

p.s. Sonic has evil commercials in the middle of the night. Just saying.

sad day: cross country is officially over

The cross country coach called me yesterday to invite us to the year-end ice cream social.

Nothing says, "You're done training!" than loading up on fat and sugar, eh?

We turned in Runner Girl's racing jersey and socialized for a little while, and ate some yummy ice cream, but we had to leave early because it was past the baby's bedtime. It wasn't pleasant, leaving. Those kids love Little Mister and he loves playing with them -- one was playing catch with a football with Little Mister. Little Mister was *not* pleased I took him away from the kids and the ball and smacked me across the eyes. Awesome. Even better? He hit the sty in my left eyelid dead on. *sigh* Two is such a hard age.

I talked with the coach about next year, and the other charter schools are pushing for rule changes, as in only letting 7th, 8th, and 9th graders run, and taking the first 5 runners from each team for scoring. That messes up our school two ways: First, our school doesn't have a 9th grade. In our school district, 9th grade is in high school, and our 9th graders go to the charter high school down the street. Second, if our younger runners aren't allowed to run, we won't have 5 runners, boys or girls, to count for our scores.

Honestly, it seems like sour grapes since our young runners are beating their 9th graders. We have 4th, 5th, and 6th graders in the top 5 in every race. Bitter much?

Anyway. Runner Girl will be having her foot surgery to correct her flat feet and remove the extra bones in December. It is a same day surgery and she will be in casts for 4 weeks, then surgical shoes for a couple more weeks. She will be unable to run, jump, or stomp until February/March. We are planning on training starting in March and hopefully we'll do a 5K in June. We decided to train whether the other schools prevail in their desire to exclude our school from the races or not.

In the meantime, I will be getting back to the gym 4 days a week and will call the trainer manager tomorrow to get set up for that. I am hoping to get up to running a 5k every day on the treadmill and/or doing 7.5k on the elliptical so I can keep up with Runner Girl ... and hopefully the team.

p.s. It's The Rock's birthday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY HONEY!!!

I went to the gym last night

I did! I didn't do a huge workout, but I went!

I actually only went on the elliptical for about 15 minutes. One mile. 160 calories.

I came home with jello for legs and I was really hyper! That lasted about 1-1/2 hours. lol. I showered and felt really, really good.

I realize I am totally out of shape. Walking with the cross country team didn't fix me. But I have a new goal, which I'll share later. And I need to call tomorrow and set up training with a new trainer.

Baby is calling.

Orthotics

We picked up Runner Girl's orthotics on Monday. They are helping some with her feet and knees, but not entirely. We go in for another evaluation in 3 weeks to see what the doc thinks, but we are pretty sure we are doing surgery in December.

He will put in an implant to help her arch, lift the arch, and take out the extra bone in each foot.

She will be in casts for 4 weeks then in post-surgical shoes for a week or two, and then back to regular shoes with orthotics thereafter.

This does mess with her drama plans because the play is in February and she is not allowed to run or jump for 8 weeks after the surgery. Oh well. Her teacher is coming up with something for her to do instead of all the dancing and stomping the pirates will be doing.

She will be able to start training for cross country again in March, so that's a good thing.

My goal is to be down by 30 pounds or so before she's ready to start training again, so I can run too.

Aside from the medical stuff, we have financial stuff and baby stuff and sick stuff going on. But it's not pretty or pleasant, and that's all I'm going to say about it.

Much love.

The end of the season

I can't even believe it, but cross country is just about over for the year. It's a short season and the charter school league? is small, so regionals were last week and state is this week.

Sadly, Runner Girl woke up Thursday morning with a bad sore throat and said, "Mom, I think I have strep ..." She's had it before, so off to the doctor we went for confirmation and a prescription. Yes indeed, she had strep. We couldn't go to regionals, which was supposed to be her last race. We were both majorly bummed. We will continue training at least on the weekends once she has her orthotics to help prevent further injury.

We are still working on ironing out the best time/routine for me to hit the gym every day, and since the gym here has limited hours, it's going to be either really early or ... not at all. sad. hoping i get there today sometime!

My Daughter, My Hero

Runner Girl had another race last Thursday. I've been a tad emotional about it and it took a while to be able to write about what happened.

The whole family had a really hard day and Runner Girl and I fought in the morning and then on the way to the race. The Rock and I had a little tiff before I picked her up from school, so I'm sure that didn't help things. And before we left for the race, I had to have SEPs with her teacher and found out she's just not turning things in and is failing her easiest class right now. So all of that made the second fight with her pretty bad and I nearly turned around and went home. She didn't want that, so she calmed down and so did I, and off we went.

We got there a little early and the kids played at the park until it was time to start. Runner Girl chased Little Mister around and helped him up the slide and stuff, so when her time came to race, she said she was too tired. I told her to pack up and let's leave then, I'd tell the coach. She got ticked off and went to the start line. Girls! Grah!

So she ran by me about 7 minutes into it, and was about to cry. I went with her. "My arches went *rude noise*," she said. I asked if she was hurting and she nodded and cried. "Do you want to stop?" "No, I want to keep going, but I hurt!" "Okay, just walk if you need to." She nodded and kept going.

When the coach saw her slow down about a minute later, she told Runner Girl to keep running. I went over and told her what was going on. She felt bad. Then we waited around at a tunnel the kids had to run through twice. All the other girls came through except Runner Girl, so the babies and I went walking. The other coach was at the other end of the tunnel, so we waited with her and chatted a bit. We finally saw her bright red shorts in the distance and, pretty soon, we could see her blonde hair flopping with every step. Two of the boys on the team had walked back through the tunnel with me and the babies, and when she got to us, they started running with her again. We were about 3/4 mile from the finish line.

They ran the entire rest of the race with her.

About 1/4 mile from the finish line, four other boys from our team joined her, and they all ran to the end with her. Tears came to my eyes as her escorts encouraged and pushed her harder. She finished, in pain, only 2 minutes slower than her best time.

About 1/8 mile from the end, I had noticed her speed picked up drastically. When we talked on the way home, I asked if she was afraid they were going to kiss her. She laughed and said, "NO! They all pretended that they were the devil and that he was going to kill me!" *snort* Now I know how to motivate her, I guess.

The strength of character she shows in pursuing her goal of finishing every race is remarkable. The other parents are impressed with her, but I admire her more than anyone. She has proven to me that she can do anything, and I bet I can too if I set my mind and heart on it. Her willingness and desire to continue are making me take a look at myself and my own goals, reevaluating what I can and will do for my own health from here on out.

In addition to that, those boys who ran with her will forever have my gratitude for helping her finish her goal. That makes me want to get healthier too, so I can really help train with the team next year.

Regionals are tomorrow, same park and same track they ran last Thursday. I am crossing my fingers she is not in as much pain and can finish and maybe even beat her best time.

Today, I am Thankful For ...

Car seats, seat belts, good brakes, and the reaffirmation that the Lord loves us and is watching over us. And no matter how bad things are, they could be much worse ...

The littles and I did not have a very good day. From start to finish, it has been difficult. Partly because Bitty is teething, Little Mister is two, and I was in a rotten mood due to some rather distressing financial news I got yesterday. I've actually been fairly depressed all day and not coping well with much of anything.

DisGrace came to the rescue and picked up Runner Girl from her practice today and, when she dropped off Runner Girl, she dropped off KC too. KC is my fabulous almost 15-year-old niece. She was supposed to be babysitting, but fell asleep on the recliner. For a few minutes. Then I was mean and made her wake up and take the baby so I could get Little Mister some food. Then we all piled in the car and took Runner Girl back to the school for a carb-loading party that the coaches threw for the kids. Regionals are Thursday and carb-loading is most effective 48 hours before a race, apparently.

Bitty didn't want to sleep and Little Mister didn't either, so we hung out at the apartment until time to get Runner Girl. All was well until we turned left on our green arrow and accelerated to the speed limit, which was only 35 mph. A car that had been in front of us moved into the right hand lane and turned right at the first street, blocking the view of someone at that stop sign waiting to turn left. They pulled out right in front of me.

I didn't panic. I heard the words, "Hit the brakes and lay on the horn!" and did just that. The brakes squealed, the car slid a little, but we managed to stop about 2 feet from the driver's door. They stopped as well and we sat there for a moment with brake dust illuminated in headlights and everyone in my car freaking out except Little Mister, who declared, "Fun! AGAIN!!"

We maneuvered around their vehicle and went on our way, with my stomach in knots. What if I hadn't been able to stop the car? Not only would my three babies have probably been injured, but my sweet niece, too! What if there had been another vehicle behind me, as is usually the case in that intersection? They definitely would have hit me, forcing me into the other car, and all of us would have been hurt, maybe killed.

We traveled about 1/2 mile when I asked Runner Girl to lead us in a prayer of thanks. She did, and two more thoughts came to my mind. One, the Lord loves us and was watching over us and again blessed us because we paid our tithing. Two, He doesn't want me dead yet.

We dropped off KC and came home, and I put my babies to bed, snuggling them a little longer and a little less resentfully than I had all day. I'm so thankful we are safe and sound at home now. And I get to go have a bubble bath and cry.

Thank you for reading. Be on the lookout for a post tomorrow about last week's second race!!

oooo, Free contacts?

Got this email from Kaje yesterday and forgot to repost. But hey, free contacts!!


Hello my friends who actually post on their blogs...

my husband's work giving away free contacts for life to one lucky winner a day! If people sign up under the link below, Matt wins an ipad, (if he gets the most referrals). We're hoping that by offering an additional $25 gift card along with the chance of winning free contacts for life, we'll get more people to sign up! If any of you wouldn't mind posting the below on your blog, that would be awesome.

Thanks!
[kaje]




1-800-CONTACTS is giving away free contacts for life when you enter
their sweepstakes
https://www.1800contacts.com/FreeContactsForLife/1364660, and there's
a new winner every day! No purchase necessary, no gimmicks, just free
contacts. Contest ends Wed, Oct 6th.

Even if you don't wear contacts you can still enter the sweepstakes.
Choose the FreshLook Colorblends with a power of 0.00. (This is just a
colored eye accessory but doesn't affect your vision.)

Matt will be giving away a $25 amazon gift card if you enter using his
link and send it around to 4 of your friends and include him on the
email: mreeve@gmail.com

For the Contacts:

•Enter the 1-800-CONTACTS sweepstakes
https://www.1800contacts.com/FreeContactsForLife/1364660 and leave a
comment on this post saying you did! (Don't forget to include your
email address.)

For the Gift Card:

•Send an email to four friends telling them about the
sweepstakes/giveaway, with a link back to this post, and copy Matt on
the email. {mreeve@gmail.com} Then leave a comment on this post saying
you did.

Time to Get Real

I'm taking a financial class through my church. Those who are close to us know our financial situation isn't pretty, though there is light at the end of the tunnel. IF I can get a handle on my spending.

One of the questions posed by the teacher the first week has been running through my head. Very simply, she asked, "What do you value?"

I always say I value my family and God, but honestly, my spending habits have not reflected that, nor have my eating and exercise habits of late. I haven't been taking care of this gift of life that God has given me, nor have I been a good steward of all the wonderful gifts he's bestowed on us.

I am working on getting a handle on my spending, and one of the things I decided I didn't need to spend money on anymore was soda. I have been so horribly addicted to caffeine, it's ridiculous! I drank my last Pepsi on Saturday and decided not to spend more money on the evil stuff.

I know it's bad for my body, and I know being this heavy is not good for me either. And I know I'm never going to get healthy if I keep drinking soda, but no matter what anyone said, I kept going back to it. But the way this question was asked really has me reflecting on it. Every time I get in the car, I think, "What do you value, Stewbert?" It has me staying away from the soda and fast food for the most part (though race days make the fast food thing harder).

Day one was rough, but I handled it because we were so busy, we were out of Pepsi in the house, and it was Sunday so I wasn't going to go to the store. Day two was worse and I had to remind Runner Girl that I hadn't had a Pepsi and I needed her to chill. I got a headache that night. One Excedrin Tension kicked it. Day three was hilarious -- I got really hyper in the afternoon and could not stop, until I passed out when putting my son to bed last night and slept until 7:30 this morning. The only reason I got up was because The Rock turned on the bedroom lights so I could get up to take Runner Girl to school. Day four hasn't been as funny. The headache is back, worse, and noises are bothering me a lot. I tried having a nap with the babies, but it didn't work so well and Little Mister didn't get his normal nap either. I have hope, however, that things will ease up over the next few days.

So, friends, I am choosing to give up soda because it's not good for my waistline or my wallet. I have to get back to the gym and I KNOW that will be easier and more productive if I cut the soda. Runner Girl said I could go to the gym tonight. I just may.

Tuesday's Race!

Runner Girl was excited to go to her race. We had to drive about 45 minutes to get there, and then had a hard time finding the correct place in the venue. But we found it eventually and were there before most of the other teams, so it worked out.

Runner Girl came in last yesterday, but she didn't give up or quit. She just kept going, no matter how far behind everyone she got. (The girl who was last at the last race wasn't there yesterday.) Runner Girl cut just over 5 minutes off her time last week, and was just over her best time from the race before.

One of the other moms whose daughter is usually in the top 3 came and said, "She is like the little engine that could! She doesn't get discouraged, just keeps trucking along!" The other moms on our team are quite impressed with her. Not so sure about the parents from other teams. haha.

I asked her if she was still having fun running, and she said yes. She's also quite proud of herself for pushing and doing her best. Which is awesome.

Our school's boys team came in first and the girls came in second. The coaches have recruited a few more girls (older ones) to run, who could already run 2 miles without stopping, and they did awesome. I'm not sure about individual places this time because I was wrestling both babies. Little Mister found some cute older girls (around age 5 or 6) and was flirting his little heart out, saying hi and waving one hand to each of them. Their parents said things like, "He is going to keep you busy!" He already does!

I talked with the coach yesterday about the flat feet thing, and she had them as a kid too. She said she hopes the orthotics help like they did her, but we all think the surgery is going to have to happen. She said they are fine with Runner Girl's time being around 30 minutes and aren't pushing her to go faster at this point since it is causing her pain, and her running gait is so odd from the flat feet and knock knees. We are hoping she'll be up and at 'em again very soon and will be able to start training in the spring.

Monday Happenings

We had a super busy weekend with blessing Bitty at home and all, and we were out and about a lot and cleaning up and cooking to get ready for it all. We did not run. I failed. *sigh*

But this post isn't about that. My sweet daughter is a bit knock-kneed and has flat feet. It's genetic; I had surgery to correct the same thing when I was 12.

Since she's running so much, we decided to take her to the podiatrist today to be evaluated. We took her to the one who did my surgery since he is the best. And yes, he's still practicing!

They did some x-rays and found that she has an extra bone in each foot called the accessory navicular, and her arches have fallen. With all the running she's doing, she's having pain from the combination of the flat feet and the extra bone. They took casts to make some orthotics for her, which will be done in about 3 weeks, which is after the cross country season ends. He wants her to try those for a month, but we think she's going to have to have surgery: Add an implant to help the arch, remove the extra bone, and lift the fallen arch.

We don't enter into this decision lightly. It is obviously affecting her ability to run and her knees will get worse as she gets older and will be in danger of further injury. It is a more complex surgery than mine was, but still a same-day surgery. We are looking at doing it in December.

In even sadder news, the doc looked at both babies' feet while we were there and said they are pretty flat too. At least we have a few years to save up for their surgeries ...

Not Last Today!

Runner Girl had her second race today! We drove up there straight from school, so it was good she got up early today and got her bag ready. She just took it to school with her and changed after classes were over.

On the way up, she ate an apple and a yogurt and a few carrots and drank some water. Her race was about an hour and a half after that, so she had plenty of digestion time before the race.

It was a street race today. They had cones and police officers directing traffic to keep the kids safe. We got up there a little early, so we drove around the course twice, and then her coach took them out again. Runner Girl knew where the turns were and where to go, so I felt better about her running on roads in an unfamiliar neighborhood.

The boys went first (again). I think it's because the boys are typically a couple of minutes faster, so the girls can start half an hour after they do, whereas the girls have more variables.

Kiddo called me to go to the start line, but I was farther along the course so I could cheer her on from there, then walk to the end line (right next to the start) and cheer her some more. She didn't like that plan, so I walked to the start and got there right as the first boys were finishing. So we (Little Mister, Bitty, and I) cheered the boys on and then talked with the assistant coach while we waited for Runner Girl to finish hers.

I walked down to the cross street after the rest of our team had come in. I could see several slower runners from another team in the distance but could not see Runner Girl. The officer directing traffic right there was great. Another school's coach ran back to find her stragglers, and came back with her last one and Runner Girl. When Runner Girl saw me and heard me and the assistant coach cheering her on, she put on the speed and ran to the end (about 1/4 mile). So she wasn't last today! The other coach's student was. She was the girl who didn't even finish last week, so there are a lot of proud parents tonight. Turns out Runner Girl fell off a curb and twisted her ankle, so they walked together for a bit and exchanged phone numbers. haha. The Rock and I both told Runner Girl it is a RACE and next time she needs to not chat during it, but can afterward. She said okay. We'll see!! haha.

After she passed me, I walked back from the cross street and rounded the corner, just in time to see Runner Girl pass the finish line. Hearing all the other students, parents, and coaches cheer her on? Was huge. I started bawling like a baby. They were so loud! It was just amazing.

In BAD news, our fastest boy runner, the little third grader, got shoved around by a bigger kid from another school once they were out of sight of all the coaches and parents. Not cool at all. And our fastest girl (small 6th grader) got shoved around by a bigger kid from another school, too. They both won last week's race. Fortunately, neither kid was injured and, though they didn't come in first today, they did come in the top five and still beat the kids who shoved them around. The coaches are filing complaints. I don't understand that behavior, or the ones who cut corners last week. Grah. Whatever happened to good sportsmanship? Besides, y'know, every single person cheering on my kid.

The Ice Cream Treatise

As anyone on my Facebook knows, I was having a rough day last Friday and wanted chocolate for dinner. The only chocolate in the house was part of a jar of hot fudge topping for ice cream, and it was extremely tempting to just eat that and skip dinner.

I have very good children, most of the time. And when they aren't being wonderful, they're not (usually) horrible. Little Mister is extremely busy, and if insomnia hits or the baby doesn't sleep well, I don't have enough energy to keep up with him the next day. Runner Girl is a preteen and ... well, that should say it all right there. I had been sort of dizzy all day Friday, so Friday night, I just wanted to go to bed with the baby (at 6:30) and was NOT up to being a good mom. Runner Girl and I had had a fight and I really wanted some alone time, but decided not to go to the grocery store in the middle of the night when I was mad. I probably would have bought a lot more chocolate and/or ice cream.

Ice cream ... oh that stuff. Cool, creamy, smooth, any flavor you can think of ... in a cone, in a cup, right from the carton! how it melts on the tongue ... I lurrrrrve it.

When Japan Boy and I lived at home, we'd watch movies together on the weekend and eat Ben & Jerry's Chubby Hubby (long before the name changed) until the 'rents came home. When I lived with Kaje, we used to keep pints of B&J's in the freezer. One of my son's favorite words? "Ice ceam."

Ice cream is to me as video games are to The Rock. Completely and totally necessary. At least, that's how I used to view it.

As I've gotten older and my hips have gotten wider, I've realized a few things.

First, I can live without ice cream. *sob*

Second, I can live without ice cream longer than The Rock can live without games. teehee

Third, if I'm really craving ice cream and I refuse it for too long, I will become the Fridger Raider! and gorge myself on other foods that are more unhealthy, and I will still want the ice cream. I will eat anything I can find in the fridge or pantry that might curb the craving. And eventually I will buy and eat the ice cream, and will probably eat more ice cream than I would have had I just gone to the store or the ice cream shoppe around the corner and just had a scoop or two in the first place. That means I will have more than quadrupled how many calories I've eaten! I will also have spent more money avoiding the craving in the first place.

The Rock's vice is Chinese food. It is his comfort food. It is like chocolate to him, engaging those great endorphins and makes him feel more calm. The problem is that I am not Chinese and I don't cook Chinese food very well (drat), so it does tend to cost us a bit more money. But he has finally learned this theory as well, and instead of becoming the Massive Fridger Raider and cleaning out the fridge, freezer, and pantry when he is craving a bit of Chinese food, he goes and gets it. And then he isn't bloated, gassy, or over stuffed for hours afterward, too! Doing this has also helped our money budget since I don't have to figure out how to feed us all for a week after he binges right after I've been to the store!

I'm still learning portion control on a few things, especially ice cream, but I really think that giving yourself permission to have a bit of a comfort food or a sweet on occasion is one of the keys to success.

So Friday night, instead of eating the rest of the jar of hot fudge or going to the store and eating a pint or more of ice cream, I ate dinner and then had a couple of spoonfuls of the hot fudge. And you know what? The endorphins kicked in and I was better able to take care of my kids all night, then hit the store Saturday morning. And no chocolate or ice cream found its way into my cart!

Oh Fiddlesticks, It's Monday!

At dinnertime last night, Kiddo realized we hadn't gone running over the weekend. so instead of eating dinner, we left and got our run on.

We drove over to my sister's neighborhood and ran on the trail in the park. Well. I walked. She ran. I did 4 laps and she did 6. Not quite the 3 miles that she is supposed to do, but better than nothing.

Then today at the practice, the coach informed me that Kiddo needs to do the race tomorrow. Apparently, they don't have enough girls on the team to qualify if she doesn't run, even if she goes over the 20 minutes. So we have to drive an hour to the race right after school tomorrow. Yay! She's excited.

Better go update our miles. It's been a while!

The first race!

Runner Girl ran in her very first race today! Our school was hosting, and they decided today would be a trial for who gets to run next week. If the kids came in under 20 minutes, no matter how old the kids were, they'd get to race next week, but everyone is encouraged to continue training, and the coach will do timed trials every Friday for anyone who asks. Makes sense to me.

We got there around 4:00 and the boys were getting all warmed up to run. Their race started at 4:30. In the very first lap around the park, the leaders were established: Two from our school and one from another. They stayed close together the entire race, and finally at the end, the youngest one from our school won! He's in 3rd grade. The boy who placed second was from a different school, but the one who took third was from ours! Good start to the day.

After everyone came in, the girls geared up to go. The leaders once again established an early lead and kept on trucking. First and second were from our school.

The way they judge the races depends on a point system that I don't fully understand. The boys from our school won their race overall, but the girls came in second overall.

The thing I found the most interesting is that there were slower runners from some of the other schools, BUT our school had both the fastest and the slowest runners in both boys and girls.

Runner Girl came in very last. After all the other girls came in, I walked over to the assistant coach and we encouraged her from where we stood, about 1/4 of the way from the finish line, through her last lap. During her last two laps, she never stopped, just kept pacing herself. When she got to the assistant coach and me, I turned the jogging stroller and ran along side her for a bit. Until my pants threatened to fall off. I was *not* dressed for running and my jeans are a tad too big! haha. When I stopped running, one of the girls from our school ran over and finished the race with her.

She finished the 2 mile race well over the 20 minutes, but I could not be more proud of my girl. She didn't quit. She didn't cry. She didn't stop. She didn't give up, even when she was lapped (twice) by the girl who took first. She didn't even walk during most of the race! She just kept going and she finished her race. Even if she can't race with the team next week, she will keep training, and I will keep being proud of my Runner Girl.

Phone Day: Check!

I spent a good part of my day on the phone today. Neurologist, gynecologist, ophthalmologist, and podiatrist appointments have been made for the various members of our family who needed them. And I spoke with the training manager at the other gym, who gave me the number for corporate so I could get an extension on my training contract and texted the manager down here so I can get started training with a new trainer here. I'm going to wait to start with the trainer here until the cross country season is over. I will have until February 1 then to use up all the rest of my paid-for sessions (awesome), but really can't focus on anything else right now. I will still start hitting the gym next week ... around the various doctors' appointments. And after those paid-for sessions have been used up, I have a couple of people I may call for help ... but they don't know it yet! bwahahaha!

Time to put Bitty to bed.

Awesome Day!

I got a call from Runner Girl's coach on my way to practice today. They were doing intervals again, so I didn't absolutely have to be there. I went anyway since we were on the way and Little Mister had fallen asleep and would have FREAKED if we'd come home without Runner Girl!

Runner Girl said the most awesome thing Monday on the way to school. "I like cross country. I am getting faster!" And she proved it with her times today!

Intervals are just the kids running around the school's back field. Last time I heard Runner Girl's times they were almost 3 minutes. Her slowest today was 2 minutes even and her fastest was 1 minute 40 seconds. She is actually NOT the last kid in the pack anymore, though the ones slower than her are younger. And she's actually running most of it now, too!

Her first race is on Thursday. Wish her luck!

What a weekend!

Since Thursday, the babies have just been sick and grouchy. There were a few things we HAD to do (grocery shopping, for instance), but we did not get out and run. *bangs head on desk*

I've also been fighting a migraine, which The Rock told me tonight must still be lingering since everyone's noise was bothering me and I had to turn the TV off while I was making dinner. Um, yep, there it is! Right in the back of my skull and in my left eye!

So, there's another hurdle for myself that I've discovered: When most of the people in the house aren't feeling well (including the mom), how does mom get to workout? How does mom get the older child out for her run when the babies are clingy and sick? And when everyone IS feeling okay, how does mom get the workout in around all the "have to's" on the schedule?

The Rock and I have discussed things a bit today. We've decided that I need to workout when he gets home from work and that he will take Runner Girl to school so I can hit the gym. He doesn't know where the school is, however, so we will be taking a field trip! that means I can't stay up until 2 sewing anymore because I need to get up around 6:30 to get everyone up and ready for the day.

Have I mentioned that I am NOT a morning person?

TgIT

It's Thursday and cross country doesn't go on Friday, so I'm off the hook tomorrow as far as helping with the kids goes.

Yesterday, they did interval training. We timed them running laps around the back of the school. Technically, I didn't help time. Another mom helps on Wednesdays, which is great! I just cheered on the kids in the back whom I'd met the day before. They are the only ones whose names I know. I also helped sort the extra uniforms they bought last year and the coach ordered the rest today.

Today, I woke up with a nasty cold and two sick and grouchy babies. Little Mister has been screaming at me much of the day and Bitty is grumpier than normal too. The Rock hasn't really slept since Wednesday morning, so he's a grouch, but when he realized how close *I* was to losing it, he cleaned the house while I napped with the babies and went to cross country.

They went for an "easy" run of 2.5 miles and I was supposed to keep an eye on Runner Girl, who was in the very back. She lost me less than halfway into it and I went the wrong way right after that since I couldn't see the kids either way down the fork in the trail. Oops. When I got to train tracks, I realized I'd gone the wrong way. So I got to the school about 12 minutes after Runner Girl first texted and called to say, "I'm at the school; where are you?" haha.

I didn't stop the whole 2-1/2 miles, just turned around. I kept walking, kept going, jogged occasionally, and knew I'd get back eventually. Coach asked if I was okay after I got to the school. I am fine. Just tired.

And one of the tires on the jogging stroller has a slow leak, so it got harder to push. Ah well.

During the first part of the run, Runner Girl kept turning back to check on me. I finally yelled, "Quit worrying about me. Just GO!" Turns out she kept up pretty well today. When the kids noticed she was behind the group after they got off the trail and back off the road, they told the coach and she had a couple of them run back to run with her. They were all pretty excited she'd kept up well enough for them to be able to go back to her.

Tonight, I'm glad it's Thursday. We'll still walk/run/jog this weekend, but between the cold and the run, every inch of my body hurts except my left ... no ... right eyelid.

My first day at cross country

Was a little less spectacular than I'd thought. The coach had me time the younger kids running 2 miles while she took the rest for a 3-1/2 mile run. The school seems a bit disorganized on a few things, and they can't seem to decide whether to let the slower kids run or not. I have volunteered to be there every day to follow the slower kids and make sure they are all safe, which is probably helping Runner Girl keep her spot on the team since she is the slowest 6th grader and one of the slowest overall. But they can't decide whether to let the slower younger kids still train with the team or not. I don't care if they are there -- I'll do my best to help them keep going and make sure they're safe too!

Alas, today while running with the younger kids, Runner Girl suddenly got a horrible bloody nose when she was at the part of the run where I couldn't see her. She was a mess by the time she got back around to where I could see she had a problem. Thank heaven for cloth diapers, because I was able to snag one out of the diaper bag. I ran over to her and had her go back to the school and get cleaned up. She was only halfway through her run today.

Ah well.

One thing I'm realizing is that my weight and being out of shape are definitely preventing me from being the mother I'd like to be. I can't keep up with Little Mister, and Bitty is trying her hardest to start crawling (she scoots sideways to me). How am I going to cope when she's mobile if I'm still this out of shape?

Must go do more laundry and clean the kitchen or the older girl child will have nothing to wear to practice tomorrow!

The Thing About Water

We've all been told to drink enough water to get a camel through the Sahara, but really, who has time to drink water all day long? And have the subsequent bathroom breaks that follow?

Steph told me a long time ago to get a water bottle that has a straw because you will drink more water. And you know what? She was right.

I didn't get an expensive bottle because my kids are always swiping my water bottles, but I did find a 32-ounce bottle with a straw. Within a few days, I could tell I was better hydrated. I can now go through 3 or 4 of them a day without thinking about it. Who knew?

Monday's Miles

I did NOT want to move this morning. I haven't been doing so well emotionally the last few days, and I woke up feeling every minute of my age in my back and legs, which is at least partly because Little Mister kicked me all night last night. I also had a bit of a junk food binge over the weekend (total emotional eating), and that has made me feel more tired, bloated, and less willing to move.

But, knowing we have to get Runner Girl conditioned for her races that start next week, I sucked it up, got dressed, got the babies dressed and put into the jogging stroller, had Runner Girl get dressed too, and off we went.

We had to go get some air in one of the stroller's tires, so we went down our little hill to main street, then walked to the gas station to do so and just kept going. We did 2 miles.

By the time we got home, I was feeling it. To be totally honest, I was feeling it about 1 mile in. I was wearing my shape ups and am really feeling it in my butt now, which can only be a good thing.

And that little hill? Isn't quite as benign coming back up, especially when it seems to be spread over 4 or 5 blocks. The incline isn't as steep, but it's spread out so takes a lot longer to travel.

BUT! We did it. I'm quite proud of myself for getting out when I didn't want to, and proud of Runner Girl for getting it done without complaining. I know the kids will leave me in the dust tomorrow, especially since they are supposed to do 3 miles, but y'know ... it's okay. I am making positive changes for myself, and will be able to tell the kids if they can't beat this fat old lady, they'd better get moving so they don't turn out like me.

I caught a glimpse of my butt in some store windows. I have no idea how I didn't notice it was that big, but it is HUGE! All the more motivation to try and solve the emotional problems instead of eating to make myself feel better. It didn't work anyway. What did work was talking with The Rock last night about why I was feeling so bad, and taking my herbs. My mood is improved even further with the exercise this morning, which is a lesson I need to learn. If I'm feeling that horrid, just get out for a walk already!

I'm SO Excited!

I packed up the kids today and went for a drive. I'd found a used Schwinn double jogging stroller online for a very reasonable price, so we went to look at it. Long drive, about 60 miles from our place. The stroller is in good shape, steers well, and the front wheel pivots (some are stationary, which sucks), so once I figured out how to make it fold, we loaded it up, paid the guy, and away we went (after I changed two diapers and fed the baby).

I went to the parent volunteer meeting at school the other day and found out that my hours at cross country will count toward our family's required volunteer hours! (The charter school requires 40 volunteer hours total per family from the parents.) That just about made my week. By the end of the season, including the meets, our family's hours will be just about done.

I haven't been doing so well with the diet and exercise just yet. Another post for another day.

So here's the plan

The school needs parent volunteers to go with the slower kids so the faster ones can train at their speed. So we're getting a used jogging stroller off of KSL.com so I can run/jog/walk at the back with the babies. Er, MY babies in the stroller, not calling the students babies. haha. The season is only 5 or 6 more weeks and the first race is 9/16, so they really have to get conditioned. And I know I can do 3 miles, just don't know how fast I'll be which is perfect for me being at the back! lol.

So I'll be going 3 miles every day with the kids at school and then 3 miles on the weekends with Runner Girl. The Rock will take her at times I can't.

I'm also going to try and get to the gym starting Tuesday night after I put Bitty to bed. Seems to be the most mellow time of day, and The Rock can definitely play with Little Mister while I go lift. I need to talk with the trainers here at the gym and call the corporate offices I guess to get an extension on my training contract, but I think I have enough sessions paid for that I can do 3 sessions a week with the trainer for a few months, which can only help with the cross country training, and my ultimate goal of shedding the fat.

Walking update

Monday, we were super busy and I didn't schedule time to walk. Blast. I did wear my shape ups everywhere we went. Comfiest shoes I've ever owned. *love*

Runner Girl went to cross country and when I picked her up, her coaches were quick to tell me how great she had done! She didn't cry, she finished the run, and she only said, "I can't!" twice. The coach was sort of jealous of her new running shoes (haha), and Runner Girl said they were awesome and helped out a lot.

Tuesday, after dropping Runner Girl off at school, I took the littles to Walmart and walked all over twice looking for something Runner Girl needed for a school project. When we got home, I loaded them up and walked half a mile to the park, let Little Mister play and pushed him in a swing, then walked another half mile home. We had another busy day the rest of the day. Runner Girl did great on her run and we finally got the schedule for her cross country meets for the next 6 weeks. It's a short season with 5 meets, then regionals and championships.

The goal tomorrow is to get two miles in after dropping Runner Girl off to school! And not eat any ice cream. I have had way too much lately. I really enjoy it, but need to not eat as much of it!

The Fridger Raider

I'm a SAHM for the moment. I worked at home for the last 7 years and was a SAHM before that, and will probably be a WAHM again soon. I love being home with my babies and being here when Runner Girl gets home from school. BUT there is one thing that makes this very B.A.D.

The Fridger Raider.

I AM The Fridger Raider.

I walk by the fridge every time I throw something in the trash. So I open it. Almost every time. I open it every time Little Mister wants a drink. I open it every time he wants a snack. I open it when preparing everyone's meals. And every time I open it, I look for something to eat or drink. And I eat it. Usually a lot of it. The Rock is the same way.

Okay. How to banish The Fridger Raider forever!!! or at least until I have to get someone's juice.

In our new apartment, the fridge is much smaller than the fridge we had in our condo. Which is great! That means there is less space for produce to get lost, and less room to store more food.

On the top shelf of our fridge, right in the front, I keep an open bag of baby carrots. On the bottom, I keep a closed bowl of grapes that have been plucked from the vine. And in the cheese drawer, I keep string cheese. If I find myself opening the fridge and rummaging for a "snack" I grab a couple carrots or a few grapes or a cheese stick. Since there is something on every shelf, I don't keep looking beyond the little things I've stashed there. And that's my whole snack! Usually it is enough to make me not eat anything else. Even if that something isn't bad for me, I don't need to eat 12 peanut butter sandwiches a day (not that I've done that or anything).

Seriously?? It took me this long to figure this out. There are reasons I've been so fat!

Maybe baby carrots aren't your thing, but you like cherry tomatoes or broccoli crowns or celery! with laughing cow light cheese! or hummus! if you find yourself becoming The Fridger Raider in the afternoon, instead of pulling out the makings for a grilled cheese sammy, grab a few veggies from the crisper and see if that sends The Fridger Raider away!

The Weekend

Runner Girl went to DisGrace's after school on Friday. When I picked her up, DisGrace said that Runner Girl was supposed to run 3 miles over the weekend. Apparently it was in a note from the coach that Runner Girl still hasn't given to me, which was handed out on Wednesday. We hadn't purchased her new running shoes (which the coach told me on Thursday were a must) and I planned to do that on Saturday, so Friday was a wash for running.

Saturday afternoon, we found some running shoes at Famous, and I picked up some Sketchers Shape Ups. I don't run and my cross trainers give me shin splints when I walk on asphalt or pavement. So I asked the gals at Famous what would work for the elliptical and treadmill AND the street, and they showed me these. They were more money than I wanted to spend, but they were doing a BOGO half off sale, so I went with it.

Between Bitty and Little Mister vying for my attention, we didn't manage to get out after we got home Saturday, so Runner Girl had to do her weekend's 3 miles on Sunday. I took her out a few hours before church and we went about 1.5 miles. I was wearing Bitty in a wrap and Little Mister was in the stroller, so I was walking and Runner Girl was running and jogging. I had her turn back at the end of every block and run back to me, then turn around and keep going. After we finished, she stretched well and then we all got ready for church. Except The Rock. He was having a bit of a bipolar crash combined with a cold. Awesome.

After church, The Rock took Runner Girl back out and they finished her 3 miles.

The good news is she finished and said the new shoes helped a lot. So did the personal instruction from her coach about running on the balls of her feet. She wasn't in pain and she wasn't as tired. Bonus! And my butt and legs are feeling the Shape Ups a bit tonight!

Food-wise, we haven't been doing very well of late. But now when Runner Girl asks for something like soda or I think, "Man, I want ice cream," I have a reason to say no. Saying, "You're in training," usually stops the craving in its tracks. Weird how that works!