So I got to the gym tonight and Carlos was wearing long pants and a jacket. I thought something was wrong.
Remember? Carlos doesn't wear pants.
I was oh so horribly right.
He took me outside.
In the cold.
And the wind.
And made me run around the building!!!!!!!!!!
Did I mention it was cold? And windy? My bad ear is still feeling it. (Cold wind makes the deaf/sensitive one hurt.) My chest is still tight. I'm a huge whiner baby, but I jogged with him and ran with him and walked with him around the building. I did it.
We went inside where I felt like hurling but didn't, and he let me have a few minutes to rest. Then we started kettle bells. It's a 10-pound weight you hold in one hand and swing up and down while you stand and squat. He had me facing the wall of mirrors, and I thought to myself, "It would be bad if I let go of this." I managed to hang onto it. We did that and used a medicine ball and did a few other things, and then he had me do some cardio. On top of what we already did, because the "cold run" was really the warm up.
We know our time together is ending rapidly, so he's giving me advice on what to do after it's over. He is encouraging me to keep coming in after and not let myself go again. He just kept reminding me that I AM making changes and I AM making a difference. And you know what? He's right.
I AM worth it.
I have kept my promises to my kids, including one I made Little Mister tonight. He wanted to go with me for a ride, and I said, "Mommy's going to go-go now, but when I get back I will take you for a ride, OK?" He said OK and settled in with Runner Girl. I wasn't sure he would remember and when I got home, trying to come down those 5 stairs to get in the house was agony. My legs are jello. I walked in and he had on his jacket (upside down) and shoes (Runner Girl's) and said, "Go-go??" So I changed his diaper and waddled back out to the car with him and took him for a quick ride.
I made a promise to Runner Girl months ago that I would get in better shape. I'm re-committing myself to that, for ME. And for her. And for my other two kids. And my husband. I will keep this promise.