When I moved back to Utah in 2003, I was exercising every day and got under 200 pounds for the first time since 1996. I did a lot of Tae Bo and walking and was eating healthier. I had a wretched bout with depression and gained it all back and then some, and then in 2006 got down to 215 ... which is where I was when we got married.
As of now, heart surgery, a wedding, two babies, multiple hormone shifts, and continued struggles with depression later, I'm at my heaviest ... around 256, 60 pounds heavier than I was at my lowest weight in 2003, and over 100 pounds more than I weighed my senior year in high school.
I got a call from Carlos the trainer tonight. I haven't worked out since the last time he and I worked out. I'd called him a few times after we canceled on each other several times in a row, but gave up a week ago. I decided I'd wait until I was over whatever virus the kids shared with me and then try Tae Bo again. Then Carlos called to schedule double appointments over the next two weeks.
I feel slightly guilty. We have to use up all of the rest of my sessions by February 1 (corporate expiration dates suck), and I've been a lazy slug and have probably GAINED weight since we met last. I don't own scales though, so I'm not entirely sure.
So I put Little Mister in bed and told him to stay put and go to sleep, and I popped in a 30-minute Tae Bo video.
It kicked my butt.
I did the whole thing, though some of it at half speed and some just walking while they were doing other things. I'm so angry with myself right now. I could do two of those in a row without a problem before and now I can't even get through one! My belly fat got in the way and my legs just don't move as fast as they used to; they're too heavy to move quickly.
I realize the hormones, depression, and life changes have played a huge role in me not taking care of myself previously, but I have no excuse anymore. I am a stay-at-home mom, not working for pay anymore, and even though I am busy with kids, husband, and housework, that doesn't excuse me and shouldn't prevent me from being good to me, too.
I do feel better now that I did the video, and Little Mister did go to sleep after chattering at me through the first 10 minutes. I hope I'm able to do it or a different one tomorrow and establish a pattern of a new habit for myself. Yes, I will do my workouts with Carlos until they're gone. After that, I will be working out at home after Little Mister has gone to bed. I have plenty of videos to get me going more regularly without getting bored; I just need to get over myself and do it.