Monday, January 17, 2011

I Quit Today

I really did.  I texted Carlos about 5 hours before my appointment and said to cancel all of my remaining appointments, I give up.

He immediately called me and told me to get my behind to the gym, that he would be there for me and I'd better show up.

Gosh.  Bossy much?

Even 20 minutes before I needed to leave, I wasn't 100% sure I was going to go in.  The kids fight with me on whether I can get in or not, I've not been feeling so great, and honestly, I was feeling doomed to be fat for the rest of my life, so why bother trying.

I had made dinner for the husband and took it in to him ... and told him I was supposed to go to the gym.  He told me to take some ibuprofen and go.  So I got dressed, took some ibuprofen, and left.  The kids didn't fight.  Little Mister even said, "Bye bye!" and "See you later!"  Which is a big change from the last time I was there when he was screaming and telling me not to go.  As I was getting in the car, Carlos called again to make sure I was on my way.

I did my warmup and found Carlos.  He worked me out for the next 90-ish minutes, a complete total body workout with some cardio.  We chatted a lot and it turns out he and his girlfriend broke up over the weekend and a bunch of his clients canceled on him today, and he had stayed the whole day and really wanted to be there for me especially since my sessions expire in 2 weeks, so that is why he called. 

I was about in tears when I just told him I didn't see a point because we only have two weeks and I don't know how much we'll get done, I've gained weight again lately, and I'm really discouraged and hopeless.  He asked how I was feeling while I was working out and told me to focus on that.  He said to think about how great I feel when I'm there, and remember that and focus on THAT instead of how frustrating it can be to get to the gym, the process of getting the kids settled so I can go, and all the challenges that come with getting ready to go.  Just focus on how wonderful I will feel while I'm working out.

It was the best workout I've had in a very long time, honestly. 

What's cool is that there are young guys there working out and showing off, and a couple of them came over to encourage me, too, counting down with Carlos during some of the timed exercises.  And an older couple from Tonga chatted with me for a bit (they know my in-laws), and we showed them some of the routine.  They then watched me power through pull ups and dips and asked how long I'd been working out.  hehe.  

All in all, I feel better now than I did before I went, though I know I'm going to be feeling it tomorrow.  I already am, truth be told.  As soon as I hit "Publish" I will be having an epsom salt bath in the hopes of minimizing tomorrow's discomfort.  Yikes.  Then I will be getting very honest with myself and specific about my goals for the months to come. 

On another note, Runner Girl got her cast off today.  She is walking fairly normally and will be in her normal shoes this weekend, though is still on running/jumping/stomping/dancing restrictions for another month.  Hopefully by the time she's ready to start training, I'll be able to keep up with her!

1 comment:

Leslie said...

Um, do we live by each other (seriously, I don't know where you live)? I would like nothing better than to go on daily walks with you. Good for our bodies and our minds. :) Exercise routines are like mood swings for me--quite extreme ones. When I am motivated, nothing can hold me back. When I'm not in the mood, no one can change my mind. A workout buddy could fix that problem. Regardless of whether or not we can be workout buddies, I think you are amazing. Every step in the right direction should be celebrated, and today you took a huge step! You go girl. (Do people say that these days?)