Over the years, I've made several attempts at losing weight and getting healthy, and I usually jump in really fast and burn myself out and quit.
That is not happening this time.
I have decided that I will work out 3 days a week -- that's it. Just 3 lifting days, with a little cardio warm-up and cool down. And that is all. I am eating my calories, making sure I'm getting enough to support my activities and my body and the lifting, which is actually more than I had previously been told. A lot more.
I did a Jillian Michaels video on Monday, and it kicked my butt. Wednesday, I felt pretty good, so I did a great workout ... and had a hard time walking on Thursday AND Friday. Feeling better this morning, and after learning a few things about different workouts, I did work out today with an actual outlined weight lifting program.
And overall, I feel really pretty good about this.
But that's not all!
I realized that I've been doing this sort of low-key, low-stress working out for about a month now. The scale hasn't moved much, and I'm OK with that. I can chase my kids easier, pick up my 5-year-old again, and my knees don't hurt going up our stairs anymore. I can feel the muscles in my arms and legs getting stronger, and they are firmer to touch as well. I can walk across campus without getting winded.
Wow.
I'm just taking things a day at a time. I will keep lifting and using this program. The Rock and VOD have been super helpful with the little kids and supportive, and it helps that it's only about every other day. I've proved I can do this and I know I'm worth taking the time to improve my health, and my mindset.
You know what else? So are you.
Saturday, July 20, 2013
Saturday, July 6, 2013
Let's get moving!
While I was taking physiology, I was all over campus, going up stairs and moving every day. It wasn't necessarily a "workout" but I was moving more than I have been since class got over, and I definitely moved more while taking the class than I had in the months previous.
My professor's doctorate was in exercise physiology, so he often would explain how the body works during exercise ... and what happens when we don't.
Two key points: It only takes 2-1/2 months of inactivity to lose toning that took you years to achieve. And the only good stress our bodies experience is exercise, which can help you deal with other stress better. I'm not going to get into the mechanics of either of these, just know they're true. ha!
When I learned those things, I started deliberately taking the stairs every time I went to school. And I tried to move more with the kids. I jogged through the grocery store with a friend's 3-year-old until it freaked him out. (My kids were at home.) I still wasn't "working out" but I was moving more.
A couple of facebook friends have been really encouraging with their posts and messages to me over the years. One runs stairs during the summer. So I started looking for stairs ... and I found them at the high school track, where there are bleachers! I've been wanting to go but haven't been able to make it work ... until today.
Today, I loaded up the kids and went to the track. We ALL went around twice (baby in the stroller) -- 1-1/2 times, then I ran the bleachers while the kids were playing. Then we finished cooling down by finishing that second lap and out to the van.
I can't even tell you how great I feel. I am sore, for sure, and I had a hard time not throwing up right after (so I sat on the bleachers next to a garbage can, lol, catching my breath at the same time). But I feel like I can accomplish something now.
It's hard being obese and having people judge your worth as a person based on your dress size. It's hard to be fat and shop in the fat lady section of the store. It's hard to jog through a grocery store, getting looks from strangers. It's hard to hear people saying that obesity should be outlawed and less socially acceptable than smoking. (For the record, it IS less socially acceptable than smoking. People don't generally mock smokers, but if they see someone fat, the whale comments and "jokes" start right up.)
I can do hard things. It's hard being in school with a family. It's hard to maintain a 4.0. It's hard to understand physiology. And math. And write papers. And spend time with my husband and children and nurse my baby. And it's hard to do all of this and still feed my emotional needs, too. But I'm doing it.
I have been having dreams of running -- with joy -- for years. Being so heavy, however, I never felt like I could. And made a lot of excuses why I couldn't get started. I'm done with excuses.
So I am going to choose my hard. It's hard to make the time to work out. It's hard to run intervals around the track. It's hard to run those bleachers. It's hard to lift weights and eat healthier and get rid of the junk in the house. It's hard to load up the kids and make the time for me. But I'm doing it anyway. Because this hard is easier emotionally than the obese hard. It just is.
My professor's doctorate was in exercise physiology, so he often would explain how the body works during exercise ... and what happens when we don't.
Two key points: It only takes 2-1/2 months of inactivity to lose toning that took you years to achieve. And the only good stress our bodies experience is exercise, which can help you deal with other stress better. I'm not going to get into the mechanics of either of these, just know they're true. ha!
When I learned those things, I started deliberately taking the stairs every time I went to school. And I tried to move more with the kids. I jogged through the grocery store with a friend's 3-year-old until it freaked him out. (My kids were at home.) I still wasn't "working out" but I was moving more.
A couple of facebook friends have been really encouraging with their posts and messages to me over the years. One runs stairs during the summer. So I started looking for stairs ... and I found them at the high school track, where there are bleachers! I've been wanting to go but haven't been able to make it work ... until today.
Today, I loaded up the kids and went to the track. We ALL went around twice (baby in the stroller) -- 1-1/2 times, then I ran the bleachers while the kids were playing. Then we finished cooling down by finishing that second lap and out to the van.
I can't even tell you how great I feel. I am sore, for sure, and I had a hard time not throwing up right after (so I sat on the bleachers next to a garbage can, lol, catching my breath at the same time). But I feel like I can accomplish something now.
It's hard being obese and having people judge your worth as a person based on your dress size. It's hard to be fat and shop in the fat lady section of the store. It's hard to jog through a grocery store, getting looks from strangers. It's hard to hear people saying that obesity should be outlawed and less socially acceptable than smoking. (For the record, it IS less socially acceptable than smoking. People don't generally mock smokers, but if they see someone fat, the whale comments and "jokes" start right up.)
I can do hard things. It's hard being in school with a family. It's hard to maintain a 4.0. It's hard to understand physiology. And math. And write papers. And spend time with my husband and children and nurse my baby. And it's hard to do all of this and still feed my emotional needs, too. But I'm doing it.
I have been having dreams of running -- with joy -- for years. Being so heavy, however, I never felt like I could. And made a lot of excuses why I couldn't get started. I'm done with excuses.
So I am going to choose my hard. It's hard to make the time to work out. It's hard to run intervals around the track. It's hard to run those bleachers. It's hard to lift weights and eat healthier and get rid of the junk in the house. It's hard to load up the kids and make the time for me. But I'm doing it anyway. Because this hard is easier emotionally than the obese hard. It just is.
Sunday, June 30, 2013
"It's really going to be OK."
I don't know if I can really convey how much stress we've been under this last year. With me in school, buying a house, moving while pregnant, legal issues, having a preemie baby, baby and mommy almost dying in delivery, The Rock nearly dying as well, and then the other 4 kids ... Plus The Rock having issues at work since he got back from LOA ... car problems, money issues, stuff wrong with our house ... well ... Things have been pretty raw and close to the surface and I just get angry a lot and have withdrawn from a lot of things and people.
While in physiology, I literally did not take any time out for myself. I did not have time to take care of me, or so I thought. We were on the go almost all day, every single day, and I studied whenever I could, taking 6 exams in 7 weeks. I did manage to get an A, but we were all worn out and just done by the time I took the final last Tuesday. So, when The Rock said he was going to hang out with the guys tonight, I said, "OK! I'm going to watch a movie that's going to make me cry in a good way," because he told me recently I needed to. He listens to my therapist (who has been on hiatus since before physio started).
I got the kids all ready for church today and went, and I didn't get to hear speakers or lessons or anything. But I was there. They were there. It was a challenge, but we managed. Came home and napped with Bean, made dinner and then cookies for The Rock to take to game night, and took some time to watch a couple of movies and crochet.
The second movie is a couple years old and is called "A Little Bit of Heaven". Now, I'm not recommending you all go watch it because there is language and some other stuff in it. However, it was the perfect movie for me tonight.
The main character, Marley, is in her late 20s/early 30s and discovers she has stage IV colon cancer. (Incidentally, I've known two young women learn they have colon/rectal cancer in their mid 30s and die in the last year, and my dad's cousin also recently died from it. It is utterly devastating. But that's not what I'm writing about tonight.)
Anyway. During the course of the movie, she passes through several stages of grief, faces God, learns to love, forgives her parents, and really becomes at peace with dying.
The relevant thing to me is that somewhere along her journey, I wasn't paying as much attention to the movie and was focused on counting stitches for a minute or two. Then, out of nowhere, I just felt arms wrap around me, a kiss on the forehead, and felt so comforted. I heard, "It's really going to be OK," and just felt the overwhelming love my Father in Heaven has for me as his daughter.
Sometimes God uses the most unexpected things to just let you know that you really are going to be OK. I never would have expected Him to use that movie to make me feel SO much better about life in general, but our current circumstances in particular. It had nothing to do with the struggles of the main character or the cancer or her friends' and family's difficulties. It was just an incredible moment, just for me, that I hadn't been open to feeling until I sat down and just rested my mind so I could let Him ease my heart.
It's a lesson to remember while I continue my schooling, because I'm going to often feel like I don't have time for me. But if I don't take that time and don't rest my mind and body, I cannot feel the Spirit and am preventing myself from being comforted and loved by my Father in Heaven. He's still doing His job. I have to do my part, too, so I can be open to receiving His gifts.
I feel at peace again, and it's been a while since I felt that. And I'm thankful.
While in physiology, I literally did not take any time out for myself. I did not have time to take care of me, or so I thought. We were on the go almost all day, every single day, and I studied whenever I could, taking 6 exams in 7 weeks. I did manage to get an A, but we were all worn out and just done by the time I took the final last Tuesday. So, when The Rock said he was going to hang out with the guys tonight, I said, "OK! I'm going to watch a movie that's going to make me cry in a good way," because he told me recently I needed to. He listens to my therapist (who has been on hiatus since before physio started).
I got the kids all ready for church today and went, and I didn't get to hear speakers or lessons or anything. But I was there. They were there. It was a challenge, but we managed. Came home and napped with Bean, made dinner and then cookies for The Rock to take to game night, and took some time to watch a couple of movies and crochet.
The second movie is a couple years old and is called "A Little Bit of Heaven". Now, I'm not recommending you all go watch it because there is language and some other stuff in it. However, it was the perfect movie for me tonight.
The main character, Marley, is in her late 20s/early 30s and discovers she has stage IV colon cancer. (Incidentally, I've known two young women learn they have colon/rectal cancer in their mid 30s and die in the last year, and my dad's cousin also recently died from it. It is utterly devastating. But that's not what I'm writing about tonight.)
Anyway. During the course of the movie, she passes through several stages of grief, faces God, learns to love, forgives her parents, and really becomes at peace with dying.
The relevant thing to me is that somewhere along her journey, I wasn't paying as much attention to the movie and was focused on counting stitches for a minute or two. Then, out of nowhere, I just felt arms wrap around me, a kiss on the forehead, and felt so comforted. I heard, "It's really going to be OK," and just felt the overwhelming love my Father in Heaven has for me as his daughter.
Sometimes God uses the most unexpected things to just let you know that you really are going to be OK. I never would have expected Him to use that movie to make me feel SO much better about life in general, but our current circumstances in particular. It had nothing to do with the struggles of the main character or the cancer or her friends' and family's difficulties. It was just an incredible moment, just for me, that I hadn't been open to feeling until I sat down and just rested my mind so I could let Him ease my heart.
It's a lesson to remember while I continue my schooling, because I'm going to often feel like I don't have time for me. But if I don't take that time and don't rest my mind and body, I cannot feel the Spirit and am preventing myself from being comforted and loved by my Father in Heaven. He's still doing His job. I have to do my part, too, so I can be open to receiving His gifts.
I feel at peace again, and it's been a while since I felt that. And I'm thankful.
Sunday, May 19, 2013
Up to my neck in Physiology
I'm finishing up the prerequisites for the nursing program at my university. Taking physiology and math this summer, as well as a writing class and a research class which kind of go hand in hand. I'm brilliant for scheduling them that way without even realizing just how beneficial they will be for each other. haha! Here's hoping I get into the nursing program next year.
Bean was born in January, a month early, and is now 4 months old. His birth was traumatic but we both have recovered pretty well. He charms everyone we meet and he is the sweetest, smiliest, easiest baby! It's been so great these last few months, being home with him and the two littles. They've adjusted pretty well to having him around, but CAT (the toddler) still acts out at times, just for attention.
The week before his birth, The Rock had a really serious breakdown and was on a medical leave of absence for nearly 3 months. He's been back to work for almost 2 months now and seems to be doing OK. He still has his moments, but so do we all.
VOD is finishing up 8th grade, which seems so crazy to me. My step daughter will be a senior in high school in the fall! And Little Mister starts kindergarten in the fall, too! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. Life marches on, I guess.
I hear screaming. I'd better go check and see if anyone is bleeding.
Monday, December 17, 2012
The term is over!
Hallelujah!
I am a bit surprised (and proud) that I got A's in all 4 classes this term. The last time I attempted this math class (years ago), I got a C+. That should tell you something. haha!
With the move and the pregnancy and the family going bonkers, it has been a very busy 4 months. We are looking forward to settling into a new normal soon. That new normal though ...
As of this post, I'm 32 weeks and 4 days pregnant and I'm having some issues with preterm labor. Not good. I've been told I need to take it very easy, no heavy lifting (sorry Toddler, you're out of luck) and not stress over things. Sure. I'll try that. I am not, however, on strict bed rest.
Yet.
I have had 2 doses of steroids to help baby's lungs develop, just in case he decides to show up soon. And I've been given a priesthood blessing which was very comforting about that "coming soon" possibility.
The kids are handling all of this well, fortunately. I've rescheduled as many appointments as I can, though I did have to go to two today, one for Kiddo at school and one for the second steroid shot. The contractions picked up on the way home from the hospital, so I'm going to go rest and cuddle my kids for a bit before bedtime.
The house still has boxes everywhere, and it looks like it may stay that way for a while yet. But at the same time, it's cleaner than our apartment was, so I'm taking that as a win.
The kids get out of school on Thursday, and I'm very glad. The Rock will be taking VOD to the bus for the duration of the pregnancy, which also makes me glad. And they have both been much more helpful lately, for which I can only be grateful.
But what I'm most grateful about *right this second* is that finals are over and I don't have to drive to school or worry about another quiz, paper, or test.
Not until next summer anyway.
I am a bit surprised (and proud) that I got A's in all 4 classes this term. The last time I attempted this math class (years ago), I got a C+. That should tell you something. haha!
With the move and the pregnancy and the family going bonkers, it has been a very busy 4 months. We are looking forward to settling into a new normal soon. That new normal though ...
As of this post, I'm 32 weeks and 4 days pregnant and I'm having some issues with preterm labor. Not good. I've been told I need to take it very easy, no heavy lifting (sorry Toddler, you're out of luck) and not stress over things. Sure. I'll try that. I am not, however, on strict bed rest.
Yet.
I have had 2 doses of steroids to help baby's lungs develop, just in case he decides to show up soon. And I've been given a priesthood blessing which was very comforting about that "coming soon" possibility.
The kids are handling all of this well, fortunately. I've rescheduled as many appointments as I can, though I did have to go to two today, one for Kiddo at school and one for the second steroid shot. The contractions picked up on the way home from the hospital, so I'm going to go rest and cuddle my kids for a bit before bedtime.
The house still has boxes everywhere, and it looks like it may stay that way for a while yet. But at the same time, it's cleaner than our apartment was, so I'm taking that as a win.
The kids get out of school on Thursday, and I'm very glad. The Rock will be taking VOD to the bus for the duration of the pregnancy, which also makes me glad. And they have both been much more helpful lately, for which I can only be grateful.
But what I'm most grateful about *right this second* is that finals are over and I don't have to drive to school or worry about another quiz, paper, or test.
Not until next summer anyway.
Saturday, October 6, 2012
We had our ultrasound! And we moved.
The last two weeks have been BUSY.
First, the ultrasound. We're having another boy! We feel so blessed and Little Mister is so stinking excited to be getting a brother! Bean is right on dates for growth and everything looks good. I'll be visiting with perinatology next week since I'm high risk, and we'll get to see Bean again.
And! We moved! In addition to my sister and her family, our old neighbors helped clean, pack, and load the truck. A couple of friends came to help clean the apartment, too. Some of the new neighbors came and unloaded the truck. It was a very long but good weekend. And I can walk normally again ... well, normally for a pregnant lady. I'm not gimping around, so I'm recovered a bit from all the hard work of packing, moving, and shampooing carpets!
The new house is wonderful -- there is room for the kids to play, room for The Rock to sleep and have a dark, quiet space of his own, room for me to have a craft room, etc. We're still mostly in boxes since I'm so busy with school and everything else, but it's coming along. My folks have been helping out and we are so grateful for all the help we've received through this process.
As far as school goes, I got 103% on my first chemistry test. That made me feel better. My human growth and development class had a test the other night but I wasn't able to get there, so I emailed the teacher about it. Just waiting to hear back and hope that I can take a makeup test. I have half a chapter of math to finish tonight and a few chapters of nutrition so I can take a math test tomorrow and a nutrition test this next week. Good times!
First, the ultrasound. We're having another boy! We feel so blessed and Little Mister is so stinking excited to be getting a brother! Bean is right on dates for growth and everything looks good. I'll be visiting with perinatology next week since I'm high risk, and we'll get to see Bean again.
And! We moved! In addition to my sister and her family, our old neighbors helped clean, pack, and load the truck. A couple of friends came to help clean the apartment, too. Some of the new neighbors came and unloaded the truck. It was a very long but good weekend. And I can walk normally again ... well, normally for a pregnant lady. I'm not gimping around, so I'm recovered a bit from all the hard work of packing, moving, and shampooing carpets!
The new house is wonderful -- there is room for the kids to play, room for The Rock to sleep and have a dark, quiet space of his own, room for me to have a craft room, etc. We're still mostly in boxes since I'm so busy with school and everything else, but it's coming along. My folks have been helping out and we are so grateful for all the help we've received through this process.
As far as school goes, I got 103% on my first chemistry test. That made me feel better. My human growth and development class had a test the other night but I wasn't able to get there, so I emailed the teacher about it. Just waiting to hear back and hope that I can take a makeup test. I have half a chapter of math to finish tonight and a few chapters of nutrition so I can take a math test tomorrow and a nutrition test this next week. Good times!
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
What's New With Us
I haven't been posting regularly, I know. It's sort of been not my focus. I have several others at the moment.
First, in May we found out we are pregnant. Again. The baby is due in February but likely will arrive toward the end of January. We find out gender on Wednesday, if Bean cooperates.
Second, I ended up transferring to a state school to get my nursing prerequisites finished. This term, I am taking 14 credits. That will leave me with 2 more classes left to do before I apply for nursing school next fall.
Third ... We found out on August 31 that The Rock qualifies for a great rate on a mortgage. The next day, we found a house we both love and so do the kids. We put in an offer and came to a price agreement that day. Two days later, we changed mortgage companies. Three weeks to the day after changing companies, he signed the closing paperwork. The most amazing part of that time frame is that it went through the USDA to qualify for a rural housing loan, and they often take up to 2 weeks to get loans approved. They had ours for 3 or 4 days.
We move on Saturday!
The house is 2200 square feet, twice the size of the old condo and more than twice the size of our apartment. It has technically 7 bedrooms, but only 4 will be utilized as such. One is big enough to be a play/TV room. Another will be a workout/sewing room. And the smallest is going to be storage. Both front and back yards are fully fenced, so that's awesome too! And I think we're all terribly excited for the fact that there are two full baths! haha!
Between pregnancy, school, moving, kids, The Rock, gestational diabetes, and trying to still maintain some sense of self, I'm a bit swamped.
I'd better get to class! Tonight's chemistry class is a study prep for the test Thursday. Eeep!
First, in May we found out we are pregnant. Again. The baby is due in February but likely will arrive toward the end of January. We find out gender on Wednesday, if Bean cooperates.
Second, I ended up transferring to a state school to get my nursing prerequisites finished. This term, I am taking 14 credits. That will leave me with 2 more classes left to do before I apply for nursing school next fall.
Third ... We found out on August 31 that The Rock qualifies for a great rate on a mortgage. The next day, we found a house we both love and so do the kids. We put in an offer and came to a price agreement that day. Two days later, we changed mortgage companies. Three weeks to the day after changing companies, he signed the closing paperwork. The most amazing part of that time frame is that it went through the USDA to qualify for a rural housing loan, and they often take up to 2 weeks to get loans approved. They had ours for 3 or 4 days.
We move on Saturday!
The house is 2200 square feet, twice the size of the old condo and more than twice the size of our apartment. It has technically 7 bedrooms, but only 4 will be utilized as such. One is big enough to be a play/TV room. Another will be a workout/sewing room. And the smallest is going to be storage. Both front and back yards are fully fenced, so that's awesome too! And I think we're all terribly excited for the fact that there are two full baths! haha!
Between pregnancy, school, moving, kids, The Rock, gestational diabetes, and trying to still maintain some sense of self, I'm a bit swamped.
I'd better get to class! Tonight's chemistry class is a study prep for the test Thursday. Eeep!
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