I pulled out an (old) VHS of Denise Austin's abs workout this morning, after running the carpool and vacuuming crackers up off the living room floor. I really wanted to do a little workout and see if I could start off my week right. Little Man asked me what I was doing and I told him I was going to work on my tummy, then asked him if he wanted to help me with my tummy. He pulled up my shirt and said he was helping.
So we put the video in and Baby Girl decided she HAD TO NURSE right that second. Off to nurse.
Of course, this time she had to nurse a LONG time instead of just a quick drink, so 30 minutes later, I put the video back on.
Grabbed the towel, laid down, and started the workout with Little Man on my left and Baby Girl running around the house. She hid in a corner the first two minutes (of the 10 minute video) and then ran over and patted my face, blowing snot bubbles out one nostril and suddenly, I could smell her. I knew why she hid in the corner.
Little Miss Stinky Poopy Pants ran off, so I did more of the video. Little Man jumped up and ran away yelling, "I hafta go potty!" "Hey! Shut the door so the baby doesn't get in the potty too!" He did. Then he came back but left the door open. "Run run run and shut the door!" He ran back and shut it, then laid down on the floor right.next.to.me. So close that when I rolled back after doing a crunch, he was under me.
I think I was halfway through the video at this point.
Little Miss Stinky Poopy Pants came back and patted my face a bit more, then grabbed my boob while I was trying to do a crunch. After I laid back down, she climbed on my tummy and sat there while I was supposed to be doing lower body crunches.
Did I mention she was really REALLY stinky?
Little Man decided to sit on me too, and about this time Denise said it was time to stretch. So we did. Sort of. And then I changed the stinky bottom. But Little Helpful Dude decided he needed to wipe her butt too. I managed to convince him that handing me the wipes one at a time was helpful instead, and then after we finished, he put the ones we didn't use away while I was washing my hands.
And that, my friends, is why I had tried to work out at the gym. But they melt down when I'm gone for an hour every day and VOD and The Rock both can't cope with the hysteria and all hell breaks loose when I get home, so I shall persevere and continue to try to work out with little ones sitting on me, grabbing my boobs, and sticking their stinky butts in my face.
I hope tomorrow's planned cardio sculpting workout doesn't end up with all of us in tears. Or worse.