Thursday, we had court. The commissioner decided that the things I stated didn't meet the legal definition of abuse and threw out the case.
Things spiraled from there.
Meeting in public, reminding him I don't want to discuss us, him wanting to discuss us, me reminding him I've filed for divorce, 3 a.m. visits, 5 a.m. projects, not feeling safe again ... we ended up having a very good, very productive discussion with his brother-in-law (who apologized for misjudging me and said he understands our issues better now), and we have some visits set up for this week at times and places and with people around that I feel the kids will be safe.
We have a crapton of work to do to be good co-parents and make that relationship work in a way we could never make our marriage work. I hope we're able to continue to make progress.
I finally slept well Saturday night. We all slept HARD and didn't get up til almost 9 this morning. So we were late to church, but we went! The youngest stayed with me during all my classes because he's having serious separation anxiety right now, the girl child danced out of church talking about when she'll get baptized, and the oldest child at home was glad we went.
They've been able to call their dad a few times today, which I think is helping this transition as well.
We can do hard things. We can do awful, yucky, horrible things.
And we can also do fun, amazing, wonderful, and happy things.
And we will.
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