Wednesday, March 16, 2011

wednesday already?

The cough is finally a bit better today.  I am not pushing myself to the gym tonight but I will be there tomorrow, come heck or high water, even if it's just a short cardio workout.

However ... The last few days, I've been feeling better emotionally.  Like my postpartum depression is finally gone (9 months after Bitty's birth).  I've been *cooking* and *cleaning* and putting laundry away and feeding my kids healthy stuff and NOT going out to eat. 

During my pregnancy and the depression that followed, we ate a lot of prepared things and ate out a lot.  Which were contributing to the mess of my body but also our finances.  I'm ashamed of myself and how any "excuse" made it OK to eat junk.  

I've made dinner every night this week so far and I have baked bread so I've been able to eat lunches without too much trouble.  I finally feel like I have a handle on things, or that if the handle slips a bit, I can grab it back before too much is damaged. 

This is probably something I will continue to struggle with, but right now, I feel hopeful for the future.  Which is different and better than I've felt for a long time.


Angel said...

I'm so glad to hear you're feeling better <3

Jessica G. said...

For me it's remembering that even if I do slip (and eat five brownies) it's not the end of the world. I read a quote that said to be good, exercise, and eat right 90% of the time but then there's the other 10% that gives you some breathing room.
(And it took me almost 2 years to start feeling like myself after I had PPD so good for you!)