I'm working out again and rather enjoying it.
It started a few weeks ago, when the teen and I went to an event where we had to climb about 95 flights of stairs without stopping (OK, it was more like ... 4 very tall flights). We got to the top, sat down for a short presentation, and I ... well, the thought that flashed through my mind was, "Great. I'm going to pass out. The only nurse in the room, and I'm going to pass out."
I was having a hard time catching my breath. My breathing was so labored and noisy that I couldn't even hear the speaker.
About the time I caught my breath, it was time to go down all those stairs again. Going down was much easier, but I was still a bit short of breath at the bottom.
I knew I was out of shape. It did not hit me until that day just how not in shape I was. Even though I'd worked with an awesome health coach over the course of last fall semester, and even though I knew it was hard keeping up with some of my nurses, and even though I'm in the biggest size I've ever worn in my life. I didn't realize how bad off I was.
I started by trying to eat less. I'm not sure if it worked, because I wasn't keeping track. But I was much more aware of what I was putting into my mouth.
At swimming lessons with my kids the last two weeks, I've been in the pool with the toddler for half an hour a day, helping him swim. I remembered how much I love swimming, and if someone at the pool is going to judge me for being fat and wearing a bathing suit, they can go to hell. I LOVE swimming and my kids love it and we get to have fun together, regardless of what other people might think of my body!
The same two weeks, I discovered some free kettlebell workouts that I love, and did them 5 or 6 times over the course of those same two weeks. I've gone walking instead of bingeing when my emotions are out of control. And I started tracking my calories with an app on my phone.
All of this started one step at a time.
I've tracked calories here and there, and I've worked out HARD for quite a while, and I've gone walking and played with my kids and ... something is different this time. Something inside me said, "No more! You ARE taking care of you, or you won't be around much longer!"
Those kettlebell workouts on Youtube are done by the couple behind Fitness Blender. So I signed up for their free website and free smart phone app, and got started this week with an 8-week fat loss program. I'm surprised I can type today because I did a brutal upper body workout this morning! I'm looking forward to tomorrow's workout, and the day after that and the day after that ... because you know what? I deserve to feel good about myself and feel good physically!
As of yesterday, I am 15 pounds below my highest weight (pregnant or not, it was the same). I still have a long road ahead, but I'm on my way.