Sunday, September 15, 2013

Own your own issues

One of the things my therapist and I have been working on for several months is the fact that I often feel responsible for other people's problems and issues and what they do and what they don't do and how they feel and react to things ... you get the idea.

The thing is, none of that is anything I can control, and none of it really has anything to do with me.  The only things I can actually control are how I allow other people to treat me, as well as how I act and react to them.  I can control how I treat other people, but not how, if, or when they respond to me.

I have decided I am done owning other people's shit.

I don't even know how many people are actually going to read this, because as part of owning my own shit, I've left facebook.  I spend far too much time there.  My husband and children need me more than facebook does.  My schooling should come before facebook does.  So should housework, weeding my garden, knitting, sewing, and doing other things that bring me pleasure and relaxation.

Social media is great, within reason.  But things get misconstrued and people take offense where none was meant, and give offense deliberately when they wouldn't say those same things directly to someone's face.  And you know what?  I'm done with the drama.  And trolls.

This has nothing to do with any one particular person or situation.  I've been saying for months I was going to leave facebook but have not done so.  Until now.

Since I already deactivated my account, I won't be linking this blog post to my friends list.  I won't be checking to see how many views I've had.  Comments, should there be any, will still come to my email, and I will reply to them.  If you would like to keep in contact and don't know how to get in touch with me off of facebook or my blog, let me know in a comment.  I may post again eventually, and I will go back to facebook periodically for a couple of support groups.  But I'm taking a step away from social media.

All the best.



SRA said...

Much respect. Facebook makes me feel sad and lonely and lessened, but yet I stay. Good for you for leaving.

steph k said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
steph k said...

This reminds me of that email conversation we had long ago about friendships and growing apart and MY realization that I too easily took on other people's heartaches and problems and had to protect myself and start to cut things and people out of my life (who I might love, but that were not helping me).

I'm so glad to see you taking care of you and your family. It makes me over the moon happy that you're getting your life to where you want it - even with the bumps along the way. My wish has always been for people to be happy.

And I don't think that's possible until you stop blaming and start owning your own crap.

Anyway, I love you!!

(and I HAD to fix that bad grammar mistake...)