Saturday, July 14, 2012

Thinking. It's a dangerous thing.

After I went through my divorce a million years ago, I learned a few things that I've shared with friends here and there who are struggling with a marriage or a partner.

First, the #1 cause of divorce is selfishness.  Abuse?  The abuser is selfish.  Infidelity?  The cheater is selfish. Money problems?  One or both partners is being selfish.

Selfishness can be fixed, but only if the selfish one wants to fix it ... and the one who is being walked on wants to stick it out.

This leads to my second point:  Forgiveness is an entirely separate issue from trust.  Whether or not you choose not to stick out a relationship, eventually you do have to forgive the other person AND yourself for whatever happened or whatever you did during the relationship.  However, if you've been abused or cheated on or the selfish person will not change, you never have to trust that person again.  Ever.

Selfishness is a sticky thing.  Yes, you should look out for yourself.  But deciding to spend money in a selfish way to the detriment of every person who relies on you is a very bad thing.  Deciding to abuse the trust of the people who love you is selfish.  Cheating on the people who chose to have you in their lives is wrong.

I've been thinking about these things a lot.  And they really apply to our country's political sphere as it is.  Congress as a whole is selfish.  Pay increases, taking payoffs, voting for lobbyists and against their constituents, blocking any measure a president from the opposing party presents just because he's in the opposing party, exempting themselves from the nationwide healthcare system, lifelong retirement income  ... SELFISH.  It's abusing the trust of those who voted them in.  It's cheating them from an honest person taking care of the people of our country.  It's stealing from their constituents.

This has nothing to do with who is president or who might be the next president.  I believe both Barack Obama and Mitt Romney are good men who want what's best for our country, even if they might disagree about what that best is.  I think they both know our economy is in the toilet and needs help, but I don't know that either of them (if elected/re-elected) would have the power to do anything to fix it, because Congress is selfish.  Congress is bought and paid for, and not by the people of our nation.

We don't all have to agree on every issue to agree that the system is broken.  How do we fix our now-broken system?  If I had that answer and the power to fulfill it, I'd do it in a heartbeat.

I do believe every long-standing member of Congress should be ousted and lobbying should be illegal.  Taking payoffs for votes is wrong.  Congress no longer represents the people; they represent corporations and special interest groups.  And that is wrong.

We should get rid of selfishness, stupidity, and hate, and see if that helps fix the country.  It doesn't matter what your lobbyists want.  That's not who you swore an oath to.  Who cares if someone from the opposing party presents a bill?  If you agree with a bill and believe it's the right thing and what your constituents want, vote for it!  Quit padding bills with special interests and items that have nothing to do with the bill at hand.  You are wasting OUR time and OUR money.  

Here's my open letter to Congress.

Dear Congress:

Quit being selfish.


A voter

And my open letter to the next president

Dear Mr. President:

If you want to create jobs, repeal NAFTA.


A voter whose medical job was offshored and is now done by people who don't speak English

p.s.  that used to say "repeat NAFTA", but that was the opposite of my intent.  HA!  Proofreading: It's a very good thing.


steph k said...

I was thinking about marriage/partnership and selfishness this morning! (and hence break-ups...)

This is an interesting way to look at the country's situation. I approve (not that you need my approval. :) )

Jessica G. said...

Unfortunately, it's the person being selfish that usually fails to see how their actions are selfish. And I think people get so obsessed with "the other" guys being wrong, that they forget about the issue.