This is me. Holding Bitty. At La Leche League last month.
I've been told it's a good picture of me/us. I see a cute baby held by a fat mom. That's really all I see when I look at my picture -- I won't point out all the things that bother me, but suffice it to say, I don't love myself in this photo or many others (although there are a few from high school and the wedding where I looked smokin').
But come to think of it, I have a hard time loving myself at all.
People are always asking, "If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?" My answer has always been, "My weight/size." Always. Ever since I can remember.
When I said that to myself this morning, I decided that that would be the very last time I answered that question that way. I *am* making changes, even if my consistency leaves something to be desired. I am the only one with the power TO make those changes and make myself the size I want to be and make myself as healthy as I can be. It's up to me. Period. I DO have the power to do it. I just have to stick to my plan, and ask for assistance when the plan isn't working.
If I can remember that and be more loving to myself, I know I can do it. And someday, I will actually take more photos of myself that I love, too.
4 comments:
Love love LOVE your attitude Esther!! I'm right there with you. Acceptance is so tough, but necessary.
I think you look lovely. But I know that no matter how many people tell you that, you have to believe it for yourself.
Picture schmicture! I remember a beautiful, extremely talented girl inside and out. Pretty sure she's still there:) Give yourself a chance to find her-you've got a great attitude!
I see a beautiful baby and a beautiful mommy.
I too am with you. I currently am heavier that I have been my whole life (including when I was 9 months pregnant.) But it doesn't matter how much I hate it or am working on it. I have to love myself despite all of that, and because of all of that.
I too love your attitude!!!!! You are an inspiration to me. Thanks for sharing your heart with us. And sharing your life's lessons. You really are talented and beautiful.
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